“You are smart, beautiful and a serious student. I like serious students, even other teachers are saying the same thing about you”. “How smart and devoted you are”. This is how it started for me. The next few months he would check up on me, but at odd hours like some minutes to midnight. I usually don’t sleep much at night so I reply, trying not to be rude, which was my first mistake.
I saw him as a respected figure, someone I could learn so much from but now he wants me in his bed and then to call him “sir” in public and this could be our little secret. Not only am I disgusted by this proposal but I have learnt it is a common one between students and teachers. I thought it is best to seek out advice.
My family told me that’s how most teachers are, and that I should pray about it so that he will not ruin my grades. I told my friends, they have two sets of opinions. There were those that wants me to say yes to his demands because we will all benefit from it. It will mean I will be trading sex for questions and we will all be A+ students. I asked about my integrity and conscience? One of them asked: what does integrity have to do with this? Don’t you want to make life easy for yourself? Where can we find integrity? If you do not do this someone else is going to do it in our class because you are not the only one he is after so why don’t you this for its benefits? Don’t you go around thinking you are special, you should consider this to be privilege.
The other set of friends think I should not do it but I should not distance myself from them because they do not want whatever wrath may fall on me to affect them.
I decided to talk to another teacher that I trusted. His first question after was, “Do you like him?” I said no and I don’t want to. His next respond was “Well you are old enough so it would be okay if you want him but if you don’t I could talk to him and tell him you and I are a thing and he would stop to bother you”.
My mind is going wild with many other questions. Why does society see this as a norm? Is it not expected that they should act in exemplary good manners? Do they not have the role to play as elder citizen, instructors and guardians Why am I the one who should “find or gather evidence of his misconduct” before someone even listens to me?
He has already broken a part of me!
The very idea that he think he cares about me is a joke! While society gives him reinforcement at this very point, telling me “It is in his nature”. I sat alone, cried some more. Then darkness embraced me. Is this the world I live in, consuming each breath of light within?